Tag Archives: Faith
I have to admit that this morning, getting out of bed, I was not feeling my normal silly joy, but instead was overwhelmed from a night of listening to sirens warning of evacuations for potential mudslides.
I got out of bed and looked up at the ceiling and said, “Ok!God, let’s do this!”
I started my workday, called a few clients, and then decided to call a special client, my brother-in-law.
Before I called, I pulled up his profile and looked at his age, and thought,How is Doug going to be 60? Wait! If Doug is going to be 60, that means my sister is going to be 60. How is this possible?
An image quickly flashes through my memory of a perfect summer day watching my sister Debbie ride bareback her horse,Blazer.
Recalling that memory, I thought, if Debbie was 16 then, I was only 12.
I grabbed my cell phone, tapped my sister’s name and within seconds, we were reminiscing about the good old days.
I hung up the phone and thought, I am going to be 56 next month. Ugh!
I walked to my bathroom and put my hair in pigtails to feel like I was twelve years old again.
I continued working, the rain blew over, and the sun came out. My work day is completed. I look over at my office partner and say, “Kipper time for a walk.”
As I walk down the rain soaked sidewalk I thought,I am not getting any younger. What am I waiting for? When am I gonna start living my purpose?
What is my purpose? To be the best financial advisor? No!
Maybe it is my age speaking or maybe it’s a brand new start to a brand new year? Or maybe it is the realization of friends, family, and clients who have passed this year.
But whatever it is, I want to be silly Lisa who had this contagious joy to share the JOY of JESUS!
What is your purpose? Please comment! Love to hear!
“For God is at work within you, helping you want to obey him, and then helping you do what he wants.” Philippians 2:13
I love the backstory of this picture.
While waiting for our order, Tarah gushes and snaps my picture, “Aww, momma. You look so happy.”
I replied, “I am happy.”
Jake added, “If I had to take a drink every time mom said ‘I’m happy’, I would be drunk and under the table by now.”
I am happy. I am content. I may not have a husband, but I have something better. This! God fills me with JOY and my heart is FULL!
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
It has been over a year and half since I traveled by plane. I am sure many of us feel the time lost. I close my eyes and rest my head on the headrest and a soft smile covers my face. I can’t wait to see my children. My family. My dad. I’m going home.
My mouth twitches Is Chicago home?
My lips seal like an envelope. Home?
Quickly images of my Fourth of July backyard party fill my head. I recall giving a toast to my friends, all gathered around my table. In the toast, I reference the movie Under the Tuscan Sun starring Diane Lane as Francis.In the movie, she gets divorced, buys a run-down house in Tuscany, and in moment of weakness, confesses to the realtor that she is sad but wants a wedding and family at this new house; that she was tired of being alone.
I quietly smile recalling telling my friends how at the end of movie, the realtor tells Francis, “I think you got wish.” She smiles, “ You’re right. I got my wish.”
My heart is full as I recalled telling my friends that having my table filled on the Fourth of July brought me so much joy that I feel like Francis from the movie. I got my wish! I continued to say that I had been praying for twenty years for a husband but if I met my husband in Chicago I would not be here and through all the trials and tribulations, God orchestrated a life better than I could possibly imagine and that it was only possible through him.
The evening went on, we prayed.We ate. We danced with sparklers like little kids, and yes, we watched fireworks. The night was magical.
Near the end of the night, my friend’s husband, John, gave me some parting advice, “ When you go back to Chicago, keep your eyes down. We don’t want you finding your husband in Chicago, unless he is willing to move to Santa Barbara.” I remember smirking.
I hear over the intercom, “Please prepare the cabin for takeoff.” I look out the small oval window and see palm trees kissing the blue sky and think Thank you God for unanswered prayers. You knew me better than I knew myself.
Are you willing to wait on God and trust him to provide for you ?
“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
This morning Kipper and I were on a morning walk when I saw a piece of paper laying on the sidewalk. I bent down and read the note.
It read: Tom- I love you with all I am or will ever be. You are my protector, lover, best friend, and so much more, and I am so happy that I am truly able to be your wife now too!! I am so happy to have found my soul completion. Love you forever!
Love and peace
Leah
Reading this notes filled me with so much hope. I thought Love does exist.
I quickly took a picture of the note and texted it to some of my single friends with these words, Saw this on my morning walk. Praying this perfect love for you. Feeling hopeful!
The text responses from my four of friends varied from:
Heart and peace sign! I hope Tom feels the same and he accidentally dropped it? I would keep a note like that.
But why was it not saved in a safe place by Tom?
Aww!How sweet! LOL, maybe he didn’t feel the same and threw it out his car window!
Awww.Tom needs to learn how to hold on to things like this. LOL. Leah is like, “You lost my love note?” Tom’s like oh crap! I lost her note!
My response :
LOL! He probably kept it tight in his pocket at all times but it fell out while he was walking and now he is distraught wandering the neighborhood trying to find it.YEP! I’m A HOPELESS ROMANTIC!
I looked down at the note and thought, I hope Tom finds his lost note. 
Kipper and I continued on our walk.
I threw a smirk up at the sky and silently thanked God for the sign and thought, True love does exist.
Love, Peace and Hope IS just a step away. IT IS COMING !
Can you believe God has good things for you ?
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11
Tonight as I was watering my plants on the front porch, I heard, “Is this 1740?” I turned to see a UPS driver carrying a package. I turned and said, “Yep,” as I made my way down the porch steps.
The driver handed me the package and I quickly tore open the yellow envelope. “Oh, it’s my Lyme disease book .”
He questioned ,”You got Lyme disease ? Where did you get it?”
I nodded and explained how I moved here from Chicago and was bit by a tick in my backyard and contracted the disease.
His head hung low, “So sorry honey . I’ll be praying for you .”
I turned to walk up my steps but then looked back and yelled out, “Hey, what do you need prayers for ?”
His eyes lifted off his hand- held computer, “What did you say?”
I walked until I was standing face to face with the delivery man and then asked again, “I said, What do you need prayers for ?”
His head hung low, “Truthfully, I want a baby. We’ve been trying…”
His voice trailed off as he shook his head, “I don’t want to be forty and just starting a family .”
I asked his name and shared mine. We hugged and agreed to pray for each other.
I gotta admit, I have learned to live with Lyme disease but I truly want to be fully healed. I believe God can and will do that. It is the hope I cling onto.
As I walked up the stairs to my house, a quiet smile covered my face as I silently thought Hope. Hope today was delivered right to my front porch . It is coming .
I sat on my wicker chair and thumbed through my book, and thought, What If we all took the time, like the delivery man to say the simple words , “I’ll pray for you ,” and REALLY meant it .
What about you? Are you willing to do it?
We all need hope and you, like the UPS delivery man, may be the special delivery of hope that someone needs. Open your mind. Open your heart and listen to the whisper within.
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1
I gotta admit, I wrote this blog months ago but never posted.Why ? Because I would have to completely rip-off my band-aid and show my ugly scab. Well, today I am ripping off the band-aid. Let the bleeding begin.
I’m not perfect.
Let me say again. I am not perfect.
Yep, several times this week I was told that I acted,or tried too hard to be perfect;not showing signs of weakness or sadness.
Here’s the week recap:
My thirteen year neighbor girl came over for dinner. We laughed.We giggled and then she said,”I have to admit I was nervous coming over to see you. You seem so perfect. You are actually fun and easy to be with.”
“Perfect? Why did you think that?”
“I don’t know you seem so put together; like always taking Kipper, your dog, for walks at the same time everyday .Organized.”
“Oh,trust me I’m far from perfect .”
Later in the week at a doctor’s appointment my doctor asked, “How are you feeling?”
I quickly responded,”I’m fine.I’m staying in the joy.”
“Staying in the joy? Lisa, it’s ok to say you hurt. In fact it is healthy to talk about it .Why do you feel like you have to hold it together?”
I lowered my head,“I don’t know. I feel the need to not complain about my sickness .”
“Lisa,it is ok to say you hurt . You aren’t perfect.”
Then today I opened my manuscript for my book. My editor had comments peppered throughout about me being self-admonishing and prideful. Ouch ! This hurts!
I looked at the computer screen, “Am I?”
The whole reason I have wrote the book is that others may trust God no matter what is tossed at them…it’s not supposed to be about “look what I have done but what has God accomplished?”
Maybe memoirs just suck. MAYBE memoirs are self-absorbed.
I walked the beach and cried .
I am sorry. I am so so sorry, God.
Is this you God?
Did all the years of hold everything together as a single mom, did I have too much pride? Did I put too much emphasis on the “I ” in the Bible verse,” I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength,” instead of on Christ?
Was my Lyme disease sickness allowed to prick at my pride?
In the Bible, Paul was afflicted with some disease so that he would not get puffed up.His disease was meant to humble him.
I AM HUMBLED.
For those of you who knew “sassy pants ”, that girl is gone. I am leveled. I am just me. And yes, I hurt. I am messy, just ask my kids about some of my eating habits or ask my friends the condition of the inside of my Jeep; far from perfect. And like Paul in the Bible, sometimes I am lonely.
Yes, I still desire a husband but maybe,just maybe, I WAS (emphasis on was) too independent, too self-sufficient to let a guy take care of me. I wanted to keep control.
Well, that girl is gone! I am ready to relinquish the reins and have someone take care of me for a change. The Band-aid is off. I willingly expose my scab, ugly and all.
As I walked the beach tonight I heard God whisper, “Get rid of your pride. You are not perfect.”
So here I am. No filter. No make-up. Just me.
God has humbled me and made make a softer and a more vulnerable girl.
What is God whispering to you? Are you willing to listen?
“For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (TLB) 2 Corinthians 12:10
It has been four years that I became sick with Lyme disease. I have tried to stay patient and daily stay in the joy but the last few weeks seem like a long, drawn-out Chicago Winter, filled with endless days, weeks and months of snow, gray, and bitter cold with no sunshine in sight.
But just like Groundhog Day, after a long Winter spent in a cave; this past week I saw some light. Yes, a new doctor.
She reviewed my new labs and uncovered some hidden new facts to work with.
Sitting in her office, I felt like a bursting daffodil popping through a light Spring snow as I lowered my chin and said, “I WILL get better. God loves me. He sees me. He will heal me.”
She responded, “Oh, Yes, Lisa. I love your faith. I am a believer too.”
My lips sealed tight. “Ugh! My faith is all I have… My friends and my church in Chicago have all been praying for you ; let my doctor have wisdom.”
I saw her face become flush.” Wow, I am so grateful for you.”
My eyes watered, ” No, I am SO grateful for you.”
She walked me towards the door and hugged me .
I looked at her with soft eyes and said, ” I love that you hugged me .”
“I love hugs too, Lisa. First I will take care of your health and then I’ll help you with the husband.”
I backed away, cocked my head, and asked, “The husband?”
“Yes, the husband.”
I walked outside and made my to my car and questioned, Why did she say, the husband?
And then tonight, as I walked my neighborhood I saw a quaint hotel setting up for a beautiful outdoor wedding.
I wandered through the white chairs, bookmarked with lavender and ivy. Wow, simply beautiful.
As I a strolled through the adjacent garden, with tables adorned with white linens and peonies, I looked up the sun, Maybe this was why I moved to Santa Barbara … health and who knows maybe a husband?
I felt the wind whisper …
IT IS COMING! Health and a Husband.
I feel it. I know it. Patience.
God’s timing is perfect. He has the plan.
“Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble and prayerful always.”
Romans 12:12 The Living Bible
It’s 4 am. I am awake. Sleep has not been my friend. I am not sure if it is because I am visiting family for Christmas and sleeping in an unfamiliar bed or if it simply dreaded menopause. My thoughts are twisted and tangled; mirroring my legs and arms caught in a web of bed sheets.
I could try to break free from this misery called insomnia but I have learned a different method.
“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
I have learned my best answers come when I don’t think but listen. As I lay still like a wrapped mummy I say, “Quiet my thoughts so I can hear yours.”
As I reflect on 2016, I know many have posted on social media of their unhappiness in this world. They are distraught but what are they doing about it? Are they asking God for direction?
God has the plan. You just have to listen. DAILY.
As I stare at the ceiling I recall what my pastor said to me five years ago,” I don’t think your husband is here – he is where you will be “
I asked, “Where am I going?”
He responded, “I know how much you love the beach. I think you are moving to the beach. He is there.”
After fifteen years of being single and raising the kids by myself, God brought me a new plan, new friends, new life, new hope. Yes, God brought me to California and … the companionship like I prayed for.
Here’s a rundown of the gifts God brought me.
My hiking girls; Judy, Marji, and Anne. My small Bible study group, Jeanne, Lynn, Bea, Hilda, Jamie, and Susan, My Tuesday night homeless meal friends, Marlys, My Centennial Guild friends – LA Children’s Hospital Group and my Lyme friends
Judy and Marji joked, “You prayed for companionship – you thought God would bring you a husband instead he brought us. You have to be more specific or next time he will bring you a dog!”
I am so thankful that God told me to leap and not look back. So what is God telling you?
I’m challenging you to do two things . One if you have insomnia,lay there and say, “ Quiet my thoughts so I can hear yours.” And two, before your feet hit the floor, say this, “Tell me what you want me to do it and I’ll do it.” God will give you answers but you have to be brave enough to not just listen but DO IT.
“ If you want to know what God wants you to do ask him and He will gladly tell you but when you ask him – be sure that you believe that he will answer you , otherwise you will toss and turn like a boat on the sea.” James 1:5-6
No more tossing and turning.
Grateful for my life. Grateful for new starts. Grateful to the one who whispers to me. Happy 2017!
Follow me on FB at THE WHISPER WITHIN
Misery To Ministry… Just Another Sleepless Night.
I call it the gift. The gift is my unadulterated skill to fall asleep anywhere, anytime…within minutes. I embrace my talent without any shame. I could be on a plane and before the pilot can announce, “Prepare for take off, ” I am already sound asleep, mouth wide open like a big mouth bass, letting the drool dribble down my chin like a hook is stuck in the back of my throat. This was my gift… until unexpected about a year and half ago, the Grinch appeared and robbed me. And just like a wide-eyed Who from Whoville, I was left with an empty stocking hanging on the fireplace mantel with only the Grinch’s stench left behind. No, I take that back, he filled my stocking with an expected present… insomnia. 
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The Whisper Within 