If I’m honest, this has been a tougher season after my father’s passing, but the other day, hope showed up in my backyard!
GOD is GOOD !
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”
Proverbs 13: 12
Category Archives: GOD
Such a wonderful weekend in Chicago, visiting my sister and my dad.
At 90 he is doing well and was happy. It was a good reminder to sing more… And dance more.( click on arrow for video)
Be filled with JOY.
I am grateful for this SWEET time with my dad.
“Gray hair is a mark of distinction, the award for a God-loyal life.” Proverbs 16:31
This morning I sat on my front porch before church and asked God, “I want to hear you but lately I’m not.”
I took a sip of coffee and asked, “How do you want to use me today? Who do I need to pray for?”
I know this will sound strange, but a name came to my mind, Marit.
I finished my coffee, was walking my dog Kipper, and received a text from my friend Cindy that read,”Not sure if you heard but Marit fell and broke her collar bone in three places. Had to have surgery. She is home recovering.”
I quickly called Cindy and was updated on our friend.
After catching up with Cindy, I called Marit and explained that this morning, it was pressed on my heart, like a voice whispering to me from God, to pray for her.
She burst into tears and said, “I can’t believe that I’m receiving this call all the way from California. This can only be explained as God.”
Both of us felt encouraged that God sees us, listens to us, and truly intervenes for us if we surrender and ask him for his help.
How does GOD want to whisper to you?
Are you willing to ask and wait for his small whisper?
God always has a BETTER plan!
My marriage failed.
God taughted me to be happy alone.
My ex became a paraplegic and I worried about my kids affording college.
They both graduated debt-free.
I could not get a job after being a stay at home mom.
I now run my own successful wealth management firm for the last 20 years.
I wanted to remarry back when I lived in Illinois. Instead, God gave me the freedom to move to California.
Trust and surrender that he has your plan and is happy to do a “ do-over” if right now your life is a mess.
GOD CAN REWRITE YOUR STORY!
“God is able to do far more than we could ever ask for or imagine. “
Ephesians 3:20-21 NIRV
I am at O’Hare airport headed back to California, scrolling through my phone looking at pictures from my time here in Chicago.
There were sweet times; dinner with Tarah, (who flew in from New York) Jake, and meeting Mika, Jake’s girlfriend, for the first time.
As I look at this photo, I am remembering the simple but sweet mile walk on Michigan Avenue, holding hands, sharing giggles, and smirks.
I study the photo and think My kids. My babies are adults. They are living their best life.
I scroll through more pictures on my phone and think My clients. So happy I was able to see them too. They are family to me.
I hear an announcement over the loudspeaker, “Passengers headed to Charlotte, boarding will begin in ten minutes.” That’s not my flight.
I look down at my phone and scroll through some more pictures. My heart pounds a little bit quicker remembering the reason for my trip to Chicago. Dad.
My dad turned ninety this week.
I smile as I scroll through the pictures of his birthday party.
I scroll through more pictures, tears form in my eyes, my mouth quivers, and I think Dad has really had a wonderful life.
An announcement comes over the intercom, “Passengers on flight 2665, we are ready to board.”
I stand up, pull my rollerboard forward, It was a sweet week but a hard week too. I’m headed home.
“…So that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” Ephesians 6:3
My sweet dog Kipper never fails to greet me with kiss, EVERYDAY . Within seconds of seeing me, I am covered in wet kisses. She shares her JOY freely without hesitation or conditions.
Why isn’t this true for me with all people? I know for me I’m guilty of holding on to past disappointments, rude interactions, and sad memories.
Blame it on the human brain storing memories whereas Kipper’s brain starts with a clean slate every day.
She doesn’t hold a grudge if I’m late, feeding her dinner, or maybe skipping a morning walk.
Sometimes I know I have felt justified for holding on to the extra baggage of past interactions, after all THEY hurt me. THEY were “not nice.”
But today I FELT differently. Maybe I was at fault too. Today I thought WHAT IF, I could store the baggage away and start fresh? I could wait for THEM to change or pray THEY change. But maybe the change needs to begin with me.
Heck, if Jesus could kiss Judas and greet him by calling him friend, why can’t I ?
I know I can’t do this on my own so YES, I am asking God to help me love like Jesus… or at least let me love like Kipper. Slobber and all.
“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.” Philippians 3:14
As a follow-up to a previous post, sometimes you have to buy the Pink dress!
We have had lots of gloomy days here in Santa Barbara, but last Sunday was nothing but sunshine celebrating the happy couple.
“… And when my days are happy pink it’s good to dance and just not think.”
May God bless you with sunshine today! Happy Sunday !
Are you feeling stuck or lost? Or restless?
Have hope! God may be moving you in a new direction.
Through my divorce, the accident, being financially broke,the lawsuit from my ex’s second wife, my home burglary, and then my sickness, I never gave up hope because I knew GOD was with me .
Never did I think God was moving me from Chicago to California.
He had the plan for me & HE does for YOU!
To all the mothers, Happy Mother’s Day! This was one of my first Mother’s Day.
Never did I think that a few short years later, I would be a single mom and solely responsible for my children.
There had to be a greater purpose, a greater plan.
I think it was God’s plan to help equip me to become a better financial advisor; to learn empathy for others who struggle.
The question for you is how can your weaknesses and/ or experiences be used to serve others?
Are you willing to be used?
“So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them the same help and comfort that God has given us.” 2 Corinthians 1:4
Today is another rainy day in…opps, I almost wrote Chicago. Santa Barbara. I feel like I am back living in the Windy City instead of sunny California.
Work finished so I made a pot of chicken soup to feel right at home.
As the soup simmered, I listened to a podcast, “How do I know if I’m hearing God?” by one of my favorite pastors, Charles Stanley.
I know many of you have asked me, how do I hear God or as I say, hear the Whisper Within?
Well, if you want to know, then listen to the podcast. The link is below.
I love that Charles Stanley says ( not to discourage attending church),“ Why go to church and spend an hour and walk away with nothing? That’s a bad investment. But what about spending an hour and having God pour truth into your life.”
Church can be like a party where you don’t know anyone there so you may end up feeling more lost, more alone.
Or it can be like attending a concert to a musician that you don’t know the music.
The best way to get to know a new musician is to listen quietly or dance silly in your own home, before experiencing the big concert.
You would not attend a concert to Death Cab for Cutie, if you knew none of the music, so why would you go to church if you don’t already have a relationship with God?
How do you get a relationship with God? Well like listening to new music, you play around with it.
So how do you start listening to this NEW ARTIST and dabble in His music? I’m gonna make it easy; start with Proverbs or with the Psalms. I started reading the Psalms when I was sad and the Proverbs when I needed direction.
Then once you experience God on your own, there’s nothing better than being in a big community of other “concert goers” who love Death Cab for Cutie, or God, just the way you do.
Make yourself some chicken soup, relax and put your feet up, grab a Bible, and ask God to speak to your heart.
And Listen to the Whisper Within.
My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “LORD, I am coming.” Psalm 27:8
February 23, 2003
It is not until tragedy strikes that we search for answers, pray, and seek hope to guide us.
I feared that a whisper might either paralyze or propel me. One call would define my courage or my destruction.
I can still hear the phone call. It clings to my memory like the ivy on the brick walls of Wrigley Field. That was twenty years ago.
“Hello, Lisa.”
“Hello? Hello? I’m sorry. I can’t hear you.”
I lunge at the door and step outside The Timber Ridge Lodge and Waterpark in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. A bitter wind punches my cheeks.
“Hello, Lisa?”
“I can hear you now, Marie.”
“Lisa, there has been a terrible accident! It’s Dan. A helicopter has airlifted him to Minnesota. They’re hoping they can save him!”
“What? What did you say?”
“Danny’s fighting for his life.”
“What? What happened?”
“It was a snowmobile accident. I know this must be hard on you since you and my son just divorced.”
That was twenty years ago today.
It was a devastating day for my ex, the father of my children, as he became a paraplegic and had to be brave to live a challenging life.
That phone call changed everything. It became my rock bottom.
But today, twenty years later, I’m thankful for rock bottom.
No matter what happened to me, I believed that God had a plan for my life.
Being broke.
Being single.
Being robbed.
Being sick.
All the waiting.
Waiting for work.
Waiting for love.
Waiting for the kids to grow up.
Waiting to move.
I grieved. I hurt. But I laughed too. It wasn’t an easy life but I didn’t do it alone.
God was with me, day by day, every step of the way.
I do believe in my heart that God worked on Dan’s behalf too by saving his life on that snowbank.
I walk my neighborhood, tip up my straw hat and look up at the sky. You did it. You moved me here. You knew what you were doing. You had the plan all along, didn’t you?
I do not hear the Whisper Within but I FEEL IT! ( Be sure to read my t-shirt in the picture. This was a lovely gift from my sweet friend Peggy.)
God had the plan and turned all my crises into contentment and blessed me more than I could imagine.
A smile covers my face as I think of my good friends who walked with me and brought light into some of my darkest days. ( Too many of you to mention)
I look up at the sky and whisper You are so so good to me!
Can you trust that God has the plan when your circumstances seem hopeless?
“Now faith is being certain of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”—Hebrews 11:1.
“Wait on the Lord. Be strong and take courage. Yes, wait, and he will help you.” Psalm 27:14
Today I received a text from my best friend.
I saw this on my walk, and it reminded me of you.
Why me?
Because you are exuberant and full of life.
My friend continue to text me.
I’m still sad about my brother’s passing. I miss friends. I’m trying everything to get back my joy, burning candles, taking walks, blasting music, etc., but I’m just sad.
I responded Tell God you are sad.
So I’m telling you because I’ve been there. Something I learned is to talk to God like a best friend. I’m sad I’m lonely. I need your help. I’m exhausted.
If you don’t know God and don’t have a relationship with him, my suggestion is to start reading the Psalms.
I started reading the Psalms, when I went through a divorce and really relied on them, God’s word, when my ex became a paraplegic.
During this time, I was desperate and learned that I had a personal friend who heard my desperate cries, and wanted to restore my silly joy.
He did then! And He restores my joy now! He will for you too! Just ask!
“Restore unto me the joy…” Psalm 51:12
Last weekend was New Year’s Eve. I had a fantastic time celebrating with my friend, Marji, yes in our PJs.
We toasted, giggled, and planned for the year ahead; trips we would possibly take, men we would maybe date, and adventures we would perhaps partake in.
So tonight as I sit in my pjs, yes once again, I am scrolling through Facebook and as expected, my feed is filled with New Year resolutions.
Here are some examples :
-This is the year I’m going to meet my husband.
-This year I’m gonna start my own business.
-I’m going to lose weight.
-I’m going to exercise more.
-I’m gonna get my health back on track.
I…I…I So many I’s!!!
Why do New Year’s resolution fail most of the time?
Because of the I’s!
I have to admit, several years ago, when I was a single mom and my ex became a paraplegic, I believed that willpower, guts, and sheer strength would get me through any trials. I used the Bible verse, “ I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.” like armour going into battle.
The problem was the emphasis was on I, not on Christ who gives me strength.
Why did I decide or why do we decide to take the knife in our own hands and attempt to carve out life on our own?
Through time, I learned to say or more realistically, look up and yell at God ,“ I need your help! I’m lost! I’m sad!”
Once I learned to ask for His help,my life may not have gotten easier, but I didn’t feel alone. God was with me.
So you may be thinking, “Well great! Good for you! But I don’t have a faith in God, in fact I don’t even know how to begin? How to let God in?”
Stay tuned for a follow-up blog …can’t wait to share HOW!
But for now, I DO know, going it alone never works because eventually we all get tired, lonely, sad, exhausted, and we need help.
And I have learned this secret, “With God all things are possible!” Matthew 19:26
Happy New Year!
I have to admit that this morning, getting out of bed, I was not feeling my normal silly joy, but instead was overwhelmed from a night of listening to sirens warning of evacuations for potential mudslides.
I got out of bed and looked up at the ceiling and said, “Ok!God, let’s do this!”
I started my workday, called a few clients, and then decided to call a special client, my brother-in-law.
Before I called, I pulled up his profile and looked at his age, and thought,How is Doug going to be 60? Wait! If Doug is going to be 60, that means my sister is going to be 60. How is this possible?
An image quickly flashes through my memory of a perfect summer day watching my sister Debbie ride bareback her horse,Blazer.
Recalling that memory, I thought, if Debbie was 16 then, I was only 12.
I grabbed my cell phone, tapped my sister’s name and within seconds, we were reminiscing about the good old days.
I hung up the phone and thought, I am going to be 56 next month. Ugh!
I walked to my bathroom and put my hair in pigtails to feel like I was twelve years old again.
I continued working, the rain blew over, and the sun came out. My work day is completed. I look over at my office partner and say, “Kipper time for a walk.”
As I walk down the rain soaked sidewalk I thought,I am not getting any younger. What am I waiting for? When am I gonna start living my purpose?
What is my purpose? To be the best financial advisor? No!
Maybe it is my age speaking or maybe it’s a brand new start to a brand new year? Or maybe it is the realization of friends, family, and clients who have passed this year.
But whatever it is, I want to be silly Lisa who had this contagious joy to share the JOY of JESUS!
What is your purpose? Please comment! Love to hear!
“For God is at work within you, helping you want to obey him, and then helping you do what he wants.” Philippians 2:13
I love the backstory of this picture.
While waiting for our order, Tarah gushes and snaps my picture, “Aww, momma. You look so happy.”
I replied, “I am happy.”
Jake added, “If I had to take a drink every time mom said ‘I’m happy’, I would be drunk and under the table by now.”
I am happy. I am content. I may not have a husband, but I have something better. This! God fills me with JOY and my heart is FULL!
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
I’m at the airport, killing time until my flight. I quietly smile as I remember the first night in New Orleans at dinner when Jake and I handed back the menus and, at the same time, said, “Thank you so much!” Tarah threw a smirk at us and said, “Jinx!”
We all started giggling. Our drinks came, and once again, at the same time, Jake and I said, “Wonderful!”
I hear over the airport intercom, “We will be boarding United Flight 2108 to Denver shortly.” I sit back in the stiff airport chair and scroll through my phone; my dimples are exposed as I glance at photos of eating beignets and exploring the Bayou.
My heart is full, but a tightness sets in as I think of hugging goodbye to my kids at security as we roll our luggage to separate planes; New York, Chicago, and Denver en route to Santa Barbara. I hear the flight attendant say, “We are ready to board flight 2108 to Denver.”
I stand, grab my roller board, head to the gate, turn back to look at the line behind me, and think my kids are heading home, and so am I.
As I walk down the ramp, I remember their smiles and think, I am so proud of the wonderful, polite adults they have become, but I sure do miss my babies.
“Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their life.” Proverbs 22:6
This past weekend, I attended my church retreat in the Santa Monica Mountains.
It was beautiful, fun, and restful. As I made new friends and visited with familiar ones, I felt like a kid at camp, sitting on a log, roasting marshmallows on a stick.
Even though I was filled with bliss over the weekend, I admit that yesterday, as I washed my dinner plate, I thought, Ugh! Why do I feel the funk creeping back in? Ugh! You are alone.
I dried my dish and thought of the demographics of the retreat attendees. Married! So many married couples!
I looked out the window and up at the sky and said, “You know what is going on? Let me keep focused on all the good you bring me. Drown negative thoughts and restore my silly, child-like joy.”
Today, as the light filtered through my sheer curtains, a smile covered my face. Morning! I love that God does not allow my hiking boots to get stuck in the mud but gives me clean fresh boots every morning. And like a kid excited to go hiking at camp, I strapped on my backpack, hopeful, for the new day.
I worked and then looked at the clock and thought, 10 o’clock. Time for Kipper’s walk. But before I did, I heard the whisper, call the box office. So, I did!
“Hello! I’m looking for tickets for a Death Cab for Cutie?”
“We have one ticket left in general admission, and we take no phone orders.”
I looked at my officemate and said, “Kipper, let’s go! Time for a walk.”
Kipper must’ve anticipated my excitement because I was not prepared for a run, but Kipper was on a full pace and had me not skipping but jogging down the street in no time.
Eight blocks later, I walked up to the ticket booth and said, “Is that one ticket still available?” It was meant to be. A credit card was handed, I snapped a picture and then sent a text to my favorite concert junkie saying, “Guess who is going to Death Cab for Cutie?”
Tarah, my daughter, responded, “cute.”
As I walked home, I tipped my hat and threw a smirk up at the sky, you do hear me!
1 John 5:15 “And since we know that he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.”
This year I collected stickers from all the places I travelled and decorated my water bottle like a second grader decorates their notebook, hopeful for a new school year.
On Saturday, I wandered the quaint Michigan costal village of Saugatuck in hopes of purchasing my sticker souvenir, until one shop caught my eye.
I walked in, browsed, and reached for a sticker at the same time as a young girl handed her sticker to her dad to purchase. As we both waited in line, the banter began.
“Where are you from?”
The gentleman replied, “Toledo. What about you?”
“I used to live in a northwest suburb of Chicago but now I live in Santa Barbara California. Saugatuck is great, isn’t it?”
“Yes it it.”
“What brings you here?”
His eyes lit up like the moon lights a dark sky, “I’m getting married today.”
“Aww! Congrats! So sweet. My nephew is getting married today too.”
Anyone who knows me, knows I am sucker for love and not the ordinary Dum-Dum sucker kind of love; but the HUGE, over-the top Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, rainbow lollipop type of love, so that said, I encouraged the friendly stranger to tell me his story.
He gushed like Buckingham Fountain with pride as he told me about the journey that brought him to co-mingling families and having a beach wedding on Saturday.
He capped off the story with, “… it comes down to faith, hope, and love… She makes me a better person.”
I reciprocated and shared a bit of my journey and the soon-to-be groom replied, “You have to be open to love.”
I felt the nudge like God was tapping me on the shoulder saying, Pay attention, Lisa.
I finished paying for my sticker, walked out of the store with a little bounce in my step, hopeful like a bride on her wedding day.
Later in the day, I ran into the adorable soon-to-be bride and groom and asked to take their picture.
The beautiful beaming bride dished out wisdom like candy on Halloween. She said, “You have to be patient. You have to wait on God. I used to be strong and independent but you need to make space and let someone in.”
My mouth twitched as I thought, Strong? Independent? Let someone in? … GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!
I wished them well, and thought, Wait on God but let someone in.
Later that evening, I celebrated my handsome nephew and his beautiful bride,
and posed for a picture with my kids.
As I am writing this, I am glancing at the photo of my children like a momma looks at her newborn baby. I am filled with so much joy and proud that they are living their best life, in New York and in Chicago. As for me, I am content and maybe this is a season of just that, contentment; but as two couples showed me this weekend, life is better with love.
I just felt the whisper It is coming! Wait for it!
“To everything there is a season… a time for love.” Ecclesiastes:1,8
Yesterday, my daughter who is now twenty-five (How is that possible?) asked me to find a picture of her on the first day of Freshman year of high school. With all the back-to-school posts on Facebook, is it possible she is getting sentimental?
As I dug through boxes, I found this little girl.
I examined my 2nd grade “picture day” photo and remembered how I worried about being ugly; recalling being teased and given the nickname “The Bucktooth Beaver.” (Kids can be so mean!) As I looked closer at the photo I also remembered what my Second Grade teacher, Mrs. Succop called me too, Jesus Little Lamb. I grabbed my phone and texted her the picture and wrote.
My beautiful teacher~ I look at this little girl and remember being so worried about the mean girls making fun of me … I worried I never would fit in. But because of your love, showering me with the love of Jesus, I stopped worrying and started wondering, wondering about our Savior, and start wondering more about Him than myself.
The next day she responded telling me it was a privilege to love me and a gift to see really young ones who the world did not know or value.
Her response got me thinking, when did we replace wonder with worry?
What do you worry about?
Will I get the right job? Will my kids get the right job?
Will my kids go to college?
Will my family stay healthy?
What do you wonder about?
Think back to your childhood…
What did you want to want to be?
What did you wonder?
Was it, would I get picked for the recess kickball game?
I admit I was boy crazy since first grade. I wondered if I would get to sit on the bus next to Eric Berg for the field trip.
Close your eyes and think back to maybe the summer of 1981? or 1985? What songs were playing on the radio? What color was your bike that you rode around the neighborhood with your best friends until dark? Did you wonder what high school would be like? Or who you would go to Prom with?
With a new school year starting and none of my children in school, I do think time is passing so quickly.
I am older and my dad is eighty-nine, so I do think about or wonder when he will die. I don’t worry since I know he will go to heaven and enjoy a new life of wonder.
As I am writing this, I am looking at my 2nd grade picture, buckteeth and all, and remembering and thanking God for my sweet teacher, who made a difference in my life, and helped me wonder. ( Yes, you teachers DO make a difference!)
God does not want us to worry but to wonder. I would love to hear what you remember about your childhood. What did you wonder?
“Show the wonder of His great love.” Psalm 17:7
I don’t know why these leaves on the sidewalk gave me comfort today.
Maybe they reminded me of fall in the Midwest. Or maybe just maybe it is a reminder not to get stuck in a season. With a new season anything is possible. Hope is a season away.
“To everything there is a season…” Ecclesiastes 3:1
I can’t believe I wrote this five years ago. I have learned so much since then and appreciate my journey as a single mom. Jake is now twenty-six living in Chicago and Tarah is twenty-five living in New York. GOD has been with us every step of the way.
AUGUST 9, 2017
Climbing through the tattered rubble this morning, I lost my footing on the steps of the Acropolis. I sat on the marble steps and watched my college kids race to the top. I wipe my smirk and sweat from lips. I no longer see Ancient Greece in the distance but visions of Mickey & Minnie dance in the haze.
Even though the long day of Disney left my kids acting like Grumpy;they were not faking it – I was .
Unknown to them we were not on a magical kingdom ride since I was Cinderella about to lose my Prince Charming. Soon I would be like Snow White lost in the forest. We were tossed on the Mad Tea Party Ride, spinning like cups, ready to vomit, until the ride broke. This is where the beauty started.
Sixteen years later, as I watched my kids race to the top, I kicked the rubble at my feet, adjusted my sun hat and my focus.
Off in the distance, I saw the masterpiece of the ruins, The Pantheon and my kids. I climbed each step like an Olympian, torched raised high in victory .
We stood firm on the marble as the fellow tourist took our photo. That moment like the monument was HUGE!
We survived the merry-go-round of life.
No more faking smiles.
No more standing on shaking ground.
Sometimes you need to fall, breakdown, and kick some rubble to appreciate the beauty .
I may love the beach and the sand but ” In Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.”
There is beauty in the breakdown.
Warning: this blog is self-indulging like a over-flowing ice cream sundae, dripping in hot fudge sauce.Today I am spectacularly,happy!Today is my daughter, Tarah’s 25th birthday.
Last night, I found a picture of us when she was five years.
As I study the picture this morning a soft smile covers my face. I recall braiding our hair but also that time in my life where things were not so sweet. I was newly divorced, my ex had become a paraplegic, and I was trying hold everything together with a safety pin.
But today, as I received a FaceTime call from Tarah who now lives in New York, I could not contain my silly joy. I was grinning ear to ear as I wished my baby, Happy Birthday!
I know most moms love their kids and are proud of them but I feel something special for my peanut.
Even though on most days we can’t share a picnic blanket like we did in New York a few months ago, we do share something extraordinary.
As I look at the photo above, I know Tarah inherited my silliness, my smile as well as my strong independent nature. I think Boy, am I lucky. It wasn’t easy but she was worth it!
Happy birthday Tarah!
A Full life. A Full heart.
I’m sitting at O’Hare Airport, waiting for my flight back to Santa Barbara.
As I sip on my mint tea, images like Polaroids flutter through my mind.
I take out my phone and tap my photo app and scroll through the smiles of my high school friends. My dimples raise as I recall the fun night we had as we got together for an impromptu high school reunion.
I keep scrolling through my photos and I see other smiles, smiles of my sorority sisters, and a fun Sunday gathering. A smirk crosses my face as I recall giggling like schoolgirls as we retold goofy stories of our college adventures.
I put down my phone, lean back in the airport chair and close my eyes. Thoughts of walking in my old neighborhood this past week, flutter through my mind. As I walk down memory lane, I reminisce of boys that I kissed, friends that I had, and backyard tent-outs with the group that I called “the gang.”
It is like I’m sixteen years old again, and just had my first kiss. I’m feeling nothing but butterflies. The innocence of youth.
I hear the flight attendant announce, “We will be boarding shortly flight 742 to Santa Barbara…” I sit up and take another sip of tea and can’t help but thank God for all the lives that have made an impression on my life.
Some were my first loves. Some allowed me to be silly and goofy. Some are my forever friends. They all have touched my life and impacted me to become who I am today.
I look out the window at the plane that I’m ready to board and think, I am pretty lucky. I have lived a good life. I have had a lot of wonderful friends and still have a lot of wonderful friends.
The flight attendant announces,”We are now ready to board flight 742 to Santa Barbara.” I stand up and grab my carry-on and wheel it towards the gate.
I get in line and a quiet smile covers my face, as I see families and couples getting in line around me. I receive a text from a Santa Barbara friend offering to pick me up from the airport.
I smile and think ,I may be single but I am not alone. I am loved. I am cared for. I am blessed.
I pull my rollaboard forward and head toward the plane.
“…a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” Proverbs 27:9
Today has been a relaxing Sunday. Church. Grocery shopping and then Kipper and I took a stroll through the neighborhood. As Kipper and I wait to cross the street I think, This fits.
But then I recall what I scribbled in my journal last week as my plane was departing New York City.
The plane tilts. The plane straightens. I am on a flight back from New York, headed home to Santa Barbara.
My thoughts wander just as I did this past weekend through the streets of NYC. I look out the oval plane window and recall my kids and I, enjoying the city.
– Three sets of eyes gazing into the fog peering for a glimpse of The Statue of Liberty
– Jake & I having a New York minute.
– Three pairs of somber eyes looking down into the everlasting waterfall of the 911 memorial.
So much to do! So little time to do it! The weekend was packed with excitement just like a sold out show at Madison Square Garden.
I think, I love the city! I miss the city!
A big grin covers my face as I recall what my kids said to me as I skipped through Central Park, “Mom, you are like a character out of movie! So silly!”
As I recall that observation I think, I am! My mouth twitches as I remember what the main character Melanie from Sweet Home Alabama says near the end of the movie. She says, “My life in New York works, Jake. But then I come down here… and this fits too.”
My eyes shut. My eyes open. Yes, the beach fits but so does the city.
I look out the window and my thoughts are lost in the clouds. What do you want God? Where do I belong ?
I see snow-capped mountains out my window. Wow! Beautiful!
I gaze closer at the mountain range Who knows where I belong ? I don’t . But I know to whom I belong.
Maybe just maybe I will live part time in Chicago and part-time in Santa Barbara. Who knows?
I shut my eyes and dream of all the possibilities.
So the blog I wrote a week ago isn’t about me trying to figure out where to live, the beach or the city. It is about something bigger.
I have heard from many friends and clients who are trying to plan and figure out “The what’s next ?” We are stuck in the day to day but want to know what the next month, year, or even ten years may bring. Will I marry ? Will I move?
So why am I sharing this? Because through my life journey I know we have a real and personal Jesus, who loves us, listens to us, and wants to guide us. We just need to be open, listen, and believe in THE WHISPER WITHIN.
As for me, I plan to be surprised.
“We can make our plans, but the final outcome is in God’s hands.” Proverbs 16:1
This weekend my daughter, Tarah graduated Pace University in New York City.
As I’m sitting here at Denver Airport waiting for my flight back to Santa Barbara a feeling of overwhelming GUSH, passes over me, tears pour out of me, and the ugly crying begins.
I think,why am I crying?, I just don’t know why.
One moment, I am so proud as I recall moments from this weekend, my grown daughter graduating, crossing a stage,seeing her as a woman this weekend who is strong and independent, intergrating her life, into the BIG APPLE, but moments later my emotions are just like the many subways I traveled on this weekend. I have changed stations . I already miss her.
I pull up a video that I saved on my phone . It is of my little girl, dancing on a chair impersonating Britney Spears but with her own style, screaming the lyrics like the front person of a metal band. ( click video below)
My tears have turned to giggles as I think, she was always unique, always creative, always funny, always childlike, always silly. She always had her own style.
The video clip stops and hit play again.
God made her distinct . She was destined to be an actress.
As I am waiting to board my flight to California, a quiet smile covers my face as I think,THANK you GOD for Tarah ! You made her brave enough to carve out her own original path and take the path less traveled .
I watch the video one more time and remember that time in my life, too. Tarah was just a child.
I shake my head and my lips seal as I think of the crooked path that led to here.
Twenty years ago, I was newly divorced, my ex had just become a paraplegic. I was broke and didn’t think I would survive as a single mom without financial support, let alone see both my kids graduate college. At times, I could only save 25/ month but I did it.
WE did it ! SHE DID IT! And yes without any college debt.
I look up at the ceiling and think,THANK you GOD! You made Tarah unique for a reason.
I look outside at the clouds passing by and think of my daughter,God had the plan and you were brave enough to live it. You are living an authentic life.
I hear the flight attendant say, “Now boarding to Santa Barbara…”
I think, I miss my girl but I am so so proud of my baby.
My eyes flickered as a gentle light filtered through my sheer curtains. Monday morning. Time to get up .
Mondays typically have a nice rhythm; work, swim, and then Kipper and I head to the beach. After swimming at the Y, I pulled on my shorts and threw on a t-shirt and hat, and jumped in my Jeep.
As I headed, down the road, I quietly asked God, “Why am I here? Why Santa Barbara? How do you wanna use me?
I waited but heard nothing.
As an elementary school just let out for the day, my thoughts wandered to my own kids. Jake is in Chicago. Tarah is in New York. Why am I here?
Wanting a response I yelled, “Come on! I wanna know why here ? Why Santa Barbara?”
I saw a VON’s sign approaching and thought Bananas . I’m out. I pulled in the parking lot, got out, and within a few minutes my grocery cart was filled and I was checking out.
As my groceries, made their way down the conveyor belt, the girl bagging my groceries said, “I love your purse. It is so cute just like you.” A warm smile covered my face. “Aww thanks! It was a birthday gift.”
We start talking like old friends. As she loaded my groceries in my cart, she leaned in and whispered in my ear. “Thanks for being so nice to me. Right before you came to check out, I said to myself, I need hope. I need to see that someone sees me.”
I looked at her name tag and said, “Karen, can I hug you?” She nodded. I hugged her tight like a favorite teddy bear and whispered into her ear, “I see you. God sees you. You gave me purpose today. I will see you again Karen.”
I pushed my shopping cart out the door and tipped my hat to the sky and thought,You do see me ! You do hear me!
Wanting to remember this moment, I quickly waved a man down in the parking lot and asked him to take a picture of the purse that started it all.
I got in the car, giggled, and threw a smirk at the sky and said, “You do see me God! And you saw Karen too. Once again you never surprise me!”
I pulled out of the parking space and silently thought, I do belong here.
As I made way home, I looked through my windshield up at the clouds floating by, You give me purpose, God.
How does God want to use you ? Are you willing ?
“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.” Philippians 2:13
About a week ago I received a sweet card that stated :
May you receive abundant blessings in return for the special way you expressed His love.
It was from my dear friend Kris, thanking me for time she and her beautiful daughter Jenna spent at my house over spring break. She enclosed a picture collage of our few days together.
I reread the personalized message she wrote and then notice this Bible verse.
I was welled with tears of joy. I recalled what one of my Santa Barbara friends said to me when I questioned, “Why here? Why Santa Barbara?”
Her response was, “Because everyone who comes to your house, you will bless and tell them about how God has blessed you. I am renaming your house THE BLESSINGS HOUSE.”
As I pondered this further, I sat on the ground with legs crossed, looked up at the sky and asked, “Is this it God? You bless me so I can bless others?”
Waiting for God to answer, I remembered sitting unknowingly next to a pastor on a plane ride and he stated, “You know Santa Barbara is one of the most unchurched places in America… I think that’s why you are here.”
I whispered Is it God ? You bless me so I can bless others?
So, this blog is not about God blessing me with a cottage by the beach, even though I am grateful for that, it is about a much bigger blessing and purpose.
The purpose is share the love and joy of Jesus…And there is not a better time than now, with Easter around the corner.
Who can you bless? Who can you invite to Easter service? Who needs to know the why your heart is filled with joy, stuffed like a plastic Easter egg with chocolate?
It is not too late. Share the blessing.
“ I will bless you… and you will be a blessing.” Genesis 12:2
This morning I received a text from my brother, Roger, with a cute meme . It had me giggling before breakfast.
I quickly texted back. Aww you made me giggle. I am seeing the beauty of my EASY life.
Moments later, I decided to post the meme on Facebook. The giggle was too good not to share.
Feeling a nudge, I added these words, “My brother sent me this today. It made me giggle. Don’t get me wrong I will someday remarry but for now, I am enjoying my singleness. To all my single friends, may you find the EASY JOY, everyday !
Moments later, Kipper and I were off on our walk, and I had a little extra bounce in my step. Who am I kidding ? I felt giddy and skipped and danced my way through the the streets and parks of Santa Barbara.
On my walk, I asked God , “What is my plan? What is my purpose? I thought I heard a quiet whisper …I have blessed you with joy. Your purpose is to share it.
I skipped my way home feeling a little lighter.
I worked, played Pickleball, made dinner, and then read some of the Facebook responses to my earlier post. Many had me giggling like a schoolgirl but one stood out from the crowd.
We messaged back and forth, just light, easy conversation but then one of her responses welled me up with tears.
“It’s funny. I didn’t know, back in the day, that you would be the “sister” that made me remember what it was all about. You are the glue that keeps stragglers like me on the periphery. We aren’t quite gone because of people like you.”
I had a lump in my throat. I felt it. The nudge. The whisper. This is your purpose. This is why I bless you with joy, to share it with others.
I have to admit, this is not the joy I thought I wanted, the joy of enjoying singleness. But today, I feel happy. I feel content. I feel a new sense of purpose, to share the joy that can only be explained as the Joy of Jesus.
So for today, I am enjoying the season of singleness with purpose. Who knows what tomorrow may bring ?
May this season, whatever season you are in, may you be surprised with unexpected JOY !
Ecclesiastes 3:1 “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”
Sit down and pour yourself a cold glass of lemonade or your drink of choice, because this one is worth a little indulging and sipping slowly.
I have to admit, a few weeks ago the thought of turning fifty-five did not sit pretty with me. One night, while laying in bed, I looked at the ceiling and yelled, “Come on God. Fifty-five and single. It’s been twenty years. How much longer?”
I waited for an answer but heard nothing . I bit my bottom lip and then lowered my head in defeat, “Well, if you’re not gonna bring me the husband, can you at least restore my joy because I gotta admit THIS HURTS ?”
I turned off the light and went to bed.
The next day, as I took in the smell of my lemon and oranges trees in my backyard, I lowered my eyes, shook my head, and thought why do you yell at God, when he has blessed you so much ? Get over yourself Lisa !
I picked a lemon and then a basketful.
As I sat the basket down on my kitchen table, I thought of the old saying, “ If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
I decided to make some lemonade. With a quick Evite, a guest list, a “lemon-squeezy, easy-peasy” birthday celebration on the calendar, I felt like a little girl with pigtails, skipping through the rest of my day.
As the lemon-themed birthday party drew closer, I thought more and more about the whole, lemon to lemonade theme in my life.
For those of you who don’t know my story here’s the quick sour lemon recap: twenty years ago, I went through a divorce, months later my ex became a paraplegic from a snowmobile accident, his second wife sued me for their accident, I was a broke single mom with no child support, our home with burglarized, and years later I suffered with Lyme disease.
Who would think that would be the easy part of my story? The last several years, in ways I am not ready yet to disclose, life handed me a brand new fresh bag of lemons.
Yes! More sour ! I have to admit I am so grateful for this extra helping of sour lemons. Why? Because through it, God drew me closer to him, rid me of my self-reliance, humbled me , and lowered my pride. Yes, I have retired my sassy pants!
I don’t move until God tells me to move. But when God moves, HE REALLY MOVES!
Remember, I wrote that I yelled at God to restore my joy? Boy! Oh boy ! Did he ever !!
Not only , did I have a fabulous birthday party surrounded by friends who love me…
but received a email from the bakery uptown that I won the princess cake.
God is good ! God is great! He is at work all the time, even through our hard seasons of sour lemons.
Life may be sour but I know this to be true, God has blessed me with good friends and no sugar is needed. Friends make life sweet.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For you know, the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
The Whisper Within 